Planning your wedding by the book can leave you feeling like your big day isn’t going to be very ‘You’. Many of the formalities are out-dated, sexist or downright impractical. If living your best life means holding a wedding that’s authentically you, have the courage to include only the wedding traditions that give you joy, and politely (or impolitely) declining those that don’t.
If you and your partner are on the point of just running away to elope rather than satisfying that old-fashioned wedding checklist, here are some traditions you can totally scratch.
Formal Wedding Photographs
Gone are the days when the bride and groom (and their wedding party) are expected to spend hours away from the party standing around posing for formal photographs taken by a photographer who doesn’t know them from a bar of soap. While some couples choose to stick with a formal approach, these days many young couples are opting for Candid Wedding Photographers to ensure that their wedding album includes those unselfconscious, un-planned for moments of joy. When you’re making your choice in the photo department, remember that unless you explicitly tell them not to, your millennial friends are going to snap away all day, off their own accord. Many couples love having photos taken by all their friends, but some prefer to opt for an “unplugged” wedding, where everyone is offline for the duration of the event. And while there may be pressure from friends or family to go either a more traditional or more modern way, remember that it’s your day and what you say goes.
The Diamond Ring
Come on: what Millennial is going to spend one months’ salary on a very old rock that some poorly paid person had to dig out of the ground, or caused conflict wherever it went? These days, many young people (who want to spend the money, that is) are opting for ethically sourced diamonds. It’s also totally acceptable to go for the more affordable lab-grown diamonds or even different coloured precious stones like sapphires or emeralds. Your marriage is about you: choose a ring that will express something authentic about the two of your love. As one of the most expensive and fraught parts of a wedding, the engagement ring is the perfect time to forget what you’re supposed to do and go for something that actually speaks to you.
The Bride’s Parents Pick Up The Tab
Back in the old days, the bride’s parents paid for the wedding celebration because it was not expected that their daughter would contribute financially to her new husband’s household. The wedding was her parents’ way of contributing to the marriage. These days, ladies slay in the workforce and many modern women find it insulting that the bride’s parents should chip in on her behalf. If you feel like your wedding should be paid for by you and your partner (or if you’d like to accept help from either one of your parents) rest assured that the decision is completely down to you. Whether you pay out of your own pockets or get your friends to chip in a tenner towards a pot-luck, make sure your wedding reflects your budget and your philosophy when it comes to money.
Whether you’re inviting a hundred guests or two, your wedding should be about starting your life together as a couple. Throwing out the wedding traditions that don’t give you joy will help you have the wedding that is true to your values.