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Peak hour Public Transport Grooming No No’s

Applying makeup on the bus via

Being on public transport puts us in close proximity with a very broad cross-section of people. I love people watching, checking out their outfits, accessories, makeup, personal habits, it’s fascinating.

While there are some very polished people on PT, who are impeccably put together, polite and respectful of other passengers, this post is not about them. This post is dedicated to the folks who miss the mark in their commute attire.

  1. People who pong: please don’t share your smell with the rest of the bus. Sometimes it’s poor hygiene or no deodorant, sometimes it is too much perfume or aftershave. There is nothing worse that a passenger holding a rail up high, exposing the seated person to a whiff of their sweaty armpits. Come on guys! How hard is it to shower and chuck on some deodorant? But please don’t go the other way and load yourself up with strong perfume. The considerate traveler knows the not everyone loves Brut 33 as much as they do. You are probably applying too much if you can smell on yourself it after 5 minutes.
  2. Festy Feet: Poorly maintained feet just destroy any attempt at daily grooming, especially when those feet belong to a person in close quarters with me. It might be a guy who has grimy tootsies in Birkenstocks, it might be a woman in strappy sandals who has never heard of a pumice stone, with cracked heels and long toenails with dirt under them or worse, an obvious fungal infection. I frankly think it says a lot about a person if they neglect their feet, and parade them around others. No matter how great the outfit, if your feet are festy, it’s over for me.

    Gina Rinehart at last year's Melbourne Cup
    Gina Rinehart at last year’s Melbourne Cup
  3. Shabby heels: -You know what I mean. The outfit’s lovely, but you look down and the shoes, particularly the heels are dirty, scratched and wornout. Just pulls down the entire look. It costs so little to get your heels repaired, so there’s no excuse. You can pick up inexpensive shoes in Big W or Target if you are strapped for cash. If the shoes are your fave, just get them fixed and cleaned up.

    worn out high heels
    worn out high heels
  4. Fake signature handbags and totes – these are so easy to pick! Poorly made bags give themselves away, but girls persist in trying to maintain the fantasy of thousand dollar handbags. Most of the time the bag doesn’t match the outfit to start with, but a “replica” Louis bag looks cheap, poorly made and ugly anyway. The monogrammed pattern looks great on a steamer trunk or overnight bag, but as a day to day bag, these bags are like bums – everyone seems to have one. If you’d spent several grand on a bag, it wouldn’t be all worn out, mishapen, and you probably wouldn’t put your lunch and office shoes in it. Fake luxury isn’t luxurious. Do yourself a favour and purchase a bag that is in your price range and the best quality you can easily afford. Try a non-high-end designer option, for example, Etsy has some beautiful bags.

    louis vuitton monogram tote
    louis vuitton monogram tote
  5. Foundation that doesn’t match your neck. I see this so much it drives me nuts. I want to just go up to them and blend out their neck. I don’t of course, I’d be arrested and locked up. Take time to get matched when you buy your foundation and blend it into the neck.
  6. Wet hair on public transport. It just screams poor time management. Unless you’ve been to the gym, in which case, hats off to you.
  7. Applying makeup on the bus. I am not refering the touch ups. I mean the full bonanza. I don’t want to see this. Get it together and do this before you leave home. Same sentiments as wet hair. Apart from frustrating the hell out of me because I am invariably watching the contents of a what not to do Youtube video, it’s really bad manners. Applying powder/lipstick. ie touch up, fine. Foundation, concealer, blush, eye shadow and the like, belong at home. While on this, if you are putting on mascara and the bus lurches forward you could do yourself an injury. (P.S. You are excused if you have a young child. It is impossible to do makeup if you have someone clawing at your ankles).

    Drew Barrymore doing her makeup on the train. Via Instagram
    Drew Barrymore doing her makeup on the train. Via Instagram
  8. Tiny handbag and a crappy plastic bag to carry everything that won’t fit. Get a bigger bag. It ruins the look if you cannot fit it into a handbag. Get a bigger bag.
  9. Sneakers with a work outfit. It is not 1990 anymore. Unless you walk massive distances to work, ballet flats are a prettier alternative and won’t completely ruin your outfit. You can buy these from Target for so little and if you need to, put some insoles into them for comfort. Gym shoes are for the gym.
  10. Too much makeup applied poorly.Nothing ages you faster than wearing too much makeup. If you are 18 to 30, don’t hide your fresh skin under layers of slap, go easy. What works on Instagram and Youtube doesn’t always translate to day time. Those thick painted on dark brows are too harsh and detract from the fullness of young brows.
    If you are 50 ease up a tad. Don’t think that by applying 17 layers of product you will hide your age, it’s all about definition and colour. Be your age but be beautiful, if that makes sense. Also when we get older, our lips get thinner. What suited us in our 20’s doesn’t work in our 40s and on. I see a lot fo women applying lipstick that is too dark or bright for their aging pout when a softer colour would flatter more.
    One more tip for over 40’s (and I am one): Shimmer accentuates pores and wrinkles. If you have lines around your eyes, opt for matte shadows, especially on the crease.

    Bad eyebrow game by
    Bad eyebrow game by
Wrinkles and shimmer don't go together. Via Total Beauty
Wrinkles and shimmer don’t go together. Via Total Beauty

I’ve probably done all the above at one time or another which is probably why I noticed it all in the first place. At the end of the day, none of these tips will save the planet from global warming or end hunger, so don’t take this too seriously.

Go forth and be beautiful!

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