The end of a relationship is one of the hardest things to face in life. All the work you put in, the love you felt for one another, the life you built together – all of these elements can slip away during a breakup. And when that moment of realization comes for the two of you, you may feel like you can’t cope with the surge of feelings that come down on you.
Deciding to walk away from a relationship that doesn’t work is one thing, but knowing you no longer feel the same about your partner is another. If that’s something facing you down at the moment, here are some tips that might help.
Accept Each Feeling as it Comes
Whatever you’re feeling right now, you’re allowed to feel it. Whether this is anger, sadness, confusion, or you’re just completely numb, it’s OK. Let yourself feel it, let it wash over and through you, and then deal with it.
You can’t do the latter without the former. You need to process it in order to truly process what you’re going through, and you won’t be able to plan for the future if you’re bottling everything up.
Talk to Your Support Network
Now it’s time to reach out to your nearest and dearest. Your support network is there for you, and the more you talk to them, the less lonely you’re going to feel after a relationship breaks down. Once you’ve realized that this is the final stop for the two of you, let people know. Even if you want to keep things private, you can tell a couple of your closest friends or family members. You might get a few practical tips from them, and at the very least, you’ll have a shoulder to cry on when you absolutely need it.
Work Out What You Want to Happen Next
If you’ve spoken to people about it, and allowed yourself to face your feelings, it’s time to make a plan. You can talk to your ex partner about what you both want to happen next, and that’s actually the best thing to do right now.
Even when there’s hurt there, you both need an idea of how things are going to change, and where you’ll both end up next. So, who’s moving out? Who gets what? If you’ve got a pet, who’s going to take care of it?
Talk to a Lawyer
If this is the end of a marriage, it’s time to get in touch with a family lawyer. For the health, safety, and happiness of your family, working with a legal representative will ensure you get to a swift and constructive resolution for everyone involved. It’s hard to work through a divorce on your own, while trying to be objective about splitting things 50/50, and you deserve to have an expert on your side to make this process much, much easier.
When your relationship is over, it’s OK; don’t let the revelation crush you.
