You might have been working hard at maintaining a happy family for so long that the relationship between you and your partner has suffered. It’s not something you may necessarily have noticed at the outset, but gradually, over time, you realise that you have nothing in common, or you’ve lost that connection, that spark. The monotony in life can contribute to this, but if you have major concerns that you’re nearly at the point of no return in terms of your relationship, what do you need to do?
Are You Being Honest With Yourself?
Honesty is always the best policy, but we can be too scared to open up, either with our partner, or with ourselves. If we start to block ourselves, or start to tell white lies, even with the best of intentions, it can be very difficult to come back from this. Sometimes we’re not honest with ourselves for a very good reason, but on the other hand, it could be just down to the fact that was scared of opening up. If you open up and start to trust your instincts, the outcome will always be positive for you. And by being honest with yourself, you can start to be honest with your partner. This means you can go in the right direction to fix the problem, whether this is about having that heart to heart on a regular basis, or at the other end of the spectrum, going through couples therapy. The important thing in establishing any form of contact is to be honest with yourself first.
What Do You Define As Quality Time?
We are all guilty of it. We are too tired either due to work or external circumstances. But when you are thinking about the idea of quality time, a lot of couples believe that they have to force quality time with each other to repair the relationship. It’s not just about being together all the time, nor is it about the quantity. It’s about the quality of time that you spent together and apart. Because if you spend time in each other’s pockets, and you don’t get away from each other, this is very unhealthy. You can very easily sacrifice your needs for the sake of the relationship, but if you need time to yourself so you can take the opportunity to miss the other person, this is what will bring that tangible spark back into the relationship.
Have You Stopped Growing As A Person?
If you are getting bored in life, it can be so easy to blame the other person, when, in fact, you need to turn the mirror onto yourself. If you’ve got into a mundane frame of mind, and you’re not growing or challenging yourself, you will start to stagnate. It’s unfair to blame the other person, because you take responsibility for yourself. If you feel you don’t have anything to give in the relationship anymore, have you dug deep enough to see what you can do? Sometimes it’s as simple as starting something new, that you can both do together, and by becoming a little bit different, this is what will keep things interesting.
Sometimes we need a boring life, it gives us an opportunity to rejuvenate ourselves, especially if we’re so stressed. But if we are sacrificing our relationship for this, it’s about making time to prioritise it again. If you think that a relationship loses its spark naturally after a while, it may be time to reassess this diagnosis.
