Creating and maintaining a lasting relationship is not an easy feat. It’s a sad fact that over 40% of marriages end in divorce. But there is that 50 odd percent that manage to have a beautiful, lasting relationship. For some, making a relationship work is a huge mystery, a code that they just can’t crack. It really isn’t that complicated – the key lies in the way you communicate, the time you spend together and the time you spend apart. Relationships aren’t easy. A lasting relationship requires some effort to work for both partners, and even more energy to be successful.
Letting a special person into your life required love and trust. That person is going to be there through all the good times, and all of the not so great time. That partner is the reason you’ll laugh and the reason you cry. But if you love them, and they love you, then that emotional rollercoaster is all part of the deal.
For a Lasting Relationship – Talk AND Listen
You need to be able to set your own feelings and thoughts to one side so that you can truly listen and understand what your partner has to say. Even if you disagree. Your partner needs to know that you will take the time to try and see things from his/her perspective – and even let yourself take those things into consideration. It can be so easy to think that you’re listening but just stick to the exact same argument. If your partner is feeling a certain way, then don’t just blindly refuse to accept his/her viewpoint. If your partner is feeling that way then could it be that you have, subconsciously, been doing something to contribute? There is never any harm in asking for some outside help if you need it. Relationship counselling can be really beneficial for a couple to see where things are going wrong and to fix them before it’s too late. Talk together with a third party, calmly about the troublesome issues. Remember, you are adults, and are perfectly capable of having a conversation using your inside voices.
Compromise for the sake of a lasting relationship
You aren’t going to get your way every time – that’s just not how relationships work. Just because you don’t like a certain meal shouldn’t mean that your partner has to miss out on it too. Just because you want a new TV, doesn’t mean that you can just go and get one, especially if your partner is struggling with money. You’re there to support each other and to treat each other as equals. How are you supposed to do that if you are constantly trying to have everything your way? For the smaller decisions why not get a covered jar and pop to popsicle sticks in there – one labelled with your name, and one with theirs – whose ever name is plucked out, that the choice you make.
‘Me’ Time – Take time for yourself
As strange as it sounds – you do need to have time apart from each other. Time to pursue your own hobbies and spend time with your own friends and family. It’s great to want to spend all of your time together for a lasting relationship, but it’s not very healthy. A couple can only grow together if they spend time growing by themselves. Plus, what would happen if you broke up? You would have no friends of your own, no hobbies to pursue and a life full of reminders of that one person.
